I don’t like me when I’m angry.

People don’t believe me when I say this, because I’m usually quite good-natured, but I get a bit violent when I’m angry.  My bursts of anger are quite brief–I don’t hold grudges–but my blood pressure shoots up dramatically, and I tend to react physically (or at least to want to react physically).  In other words, I turn into Little Hulk.  I say “Little” because I am about five foot two or three and not very strong.  That’s why people tend to think it’s funny or cute when I yell or punch a desk or jump on my sister (I did that several times when we were roommates).  I agree that it makes an amusing story, but ultimately it’s not very cute or funny, and here’s why.

1. Someday, I will probably have people in my life who are smaller than I am and whom I could actually hurt–i.e., children.

2. Anger gives me a temporarily useful adrenaline rush (I packed up my entire office in about an hour this morning when I was mad about a dumb thing, which I am now over), but I’m pretty sure it has negative physiological effects in the long term.  See, for example, my comment above about blood pressure.  I think people can also get ulcers from being angry too much.

3. Although, as Jesus demonstrated, righteous anger is…well, righteous, 99.9% of the time my anger has no such just cause.  Usually I’m angry because things aren’t going according to my selfish, carefully-constructed plan.  And that kind of anger has bad spiritual and relational effects on me and everyone around me.

So, although they asked me if I wanted to replace Mark Ruffalo in the next Avengers movie, I turned down the offer in order to preserve my holistic well-being.  Hey, don’t laugh; I think I’d be pretty believable.  It’s all CGI anyway, right?

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